Danielle first learned about DT Heart and Soul from a sister who found a like-minded man on DTHS after years of being happy as a single adoptive mother. Danielle lives in Aberdeen Scotland, a mother of a wonderful little boy, Malechi and was ready to build friendships and maybe even find the person that God had chosen for her. Months later, she plucked up the courage to sign up.
She messaged a few brothers to say hello; one in particular, a brother in Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas, had the biggest smile she’d ever seen, but what really caught her eye were several pictures of him with Batman memorabilia. Danielle was not a Batman fan, but she loved Mel’s confidence in showing his goofy side. On paper Mel and Danielle were very different people and wanted different things, but she sent him a message anyway to encourage him and possibly start a friendship.
They started off with video chat, trying to make time around their busy schedules and the six-hour time difference.
Danielle: It was going so well that we started discussing visiting each other. COVID-19 however threw up many hurdles; for example, due to the travel restrictions, anyone who had been in the UK in the last 14 days was banned from traveling to the US. This meant Mel had to make the first trip. We scoured through flights for two weeks to see which options were most cost effective, and found one for mid-December 2020.
After working out the logistics, bearing in mind Covid-19 rules and restrictions, Mel arrived on the 12th of December after a frustrating flight, fraught with delays and missed connections. Danielle could feel his tenseness in the first few moments of meeting, but that melted away within minutes as they both realized this was the moment for which they had been holding their breath the past few weeks. Within seconds they fell into their old selves, only this time they were in the same country, time zone, and space. The conversations were natural, and the love grew. To Danielle’s surprise, Mel proposed four days later. She was bewildered to the point that she couldn’t utter a word. Instead she called her son, who shouted that she should say ‘Yes!’
In their short time together, Mel and Danielle surprised themselves with the depth of conversation, openness, communication and honesty. They talked about pasts, preferences, their future together (even when it was awkward) and prayed together and for each other. They realized their blessings and wanted to put everything they had into making it work and into glorifying God with their relationship. This prompted them to seek advice on their relationship. They got advice from married couples, to ensure they put Jesus at the center of their relationship, to not rush, to discuss properly how they would be moving forward (e.g.,where they were going to live), and to weigh up the pros and cons of every situation.
One scripture they have held onto:
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealous unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” -Song of Songs 8:6-7
It reminds them that the love they have for each other is strong, but only a small reflection of the love that God has for them. Nothing can quench the love they have and the priceless value of love. They strive to love each other and those around them more deeply each day.
Here is their advice:
Danielle: What really encouraged me was Mel’s honesty and directness. He was a man who knew what he wanted and was open about his dreams and goals. I found this very encouraging because it helped me to understand how he thinks and showed me that he had drive.
The advice I would give to sisters is to not base your idea of someone just on their profile information. Don’t be afraid to message a brother to say hello (they are encouraged when sisters are courageous enough to say hi). Remember you’re in a safe environment to build a relationship, but don’t forget just how important having a friendship with the brother is, and most importantly be honest, open and have those big conversations.
Mel: My advice for brothers who are hesitant: If you are really ready to find a wife then you need to have an open mind and heart. You need to have the willingness to try something new and different. There’s always a chance the woman you are compatible with is overseas.
For the brothers already on DTHS: Make sure you upload all the pictures you can to show your character/personality. Fill out as much of your profile you can. Be real and honest about who you are and what you are looking for. Message multiple sisters and see if a connection forms. If a sister messages you first, message them back and see what happens, even if you think you’re not compatible with them.
DTHS Editors: Mel and Danielle, thank you for sharing your story with all of us!