1. Marriage is God’s Plan
Genesis 2:18-25
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
- Eve was created by God to be Adam’s life partner – Taken from his side. Not from his head that she should rule over him. Not from his foot that he should trample on her. But from his side that they should be partners.
- The two become one flesh. God designed an intimacy to be shared exclusively between husband and wife that makes them one.
- NEXT: Satan and sin enter, Adam & Eve are now banished from the Garden and now have to deal with how selfishness, pride, anger, jealousy, and lust affect a marriage.
2. So God establishes Roles and Responsibilities of husband and wife in marriage
Ephesians 5:21-33
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
- Husbands must lead and love their wives like Jesus leads and loves the church.
- Caring and nurturing her as he cares for his own body.
- Love, service, submission, and respect make the relationship work in a sinful world.
- These roles and responsibilities are established by God and should supersede what we were taught or observed growing up or what the culture around us defines as a marriage relationship.
1 Peter 3:7-9
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
- Husbands must be considerate of their wives’ needs.
- Husbands should recognize differences (strengths and weaknesses) between men and women and be gentle with female weaknesses.
- God takes it personally when men do not treat His daughters properly and even his prayers are hindered.
Q – What changes do you need to make to be a Christlike husband? Q – What apologies do you need to make?
Recommended Reading:
– Friends & Lovers – Sam & Geri Laing
– How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It – Patricia Love & Steven Stosny
– The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman
– Guys are we really listening – Howard Binkow
3. The Christian Father
Ephesians 6:1-4
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”[a]
4 Fathers,[b] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
- Fathers should train and instruct their children to develop moral character according to the scriptures.
- Fathers should be careful to not exasperate (frustrate) their children.
Q – How can you nurture your children more?
Q – What can you stop doing that is, or could be, frustrating them?
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
- Disciplining our children IS loving them.
- Lack of discipline actually hurts them in the long run.
Proverbs 22:15
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
- Children are born with sinful natures (the capacity for wrongdoing).
- They need discipline to teach them consequences.
- A lack of consequences, in a loving home environment, will likely result in them experiencing far harsher consequences in the school/work environment.
Q – Are there areas of disciplining and training your children that you have been avoiding dealing with?
Recommended Reading:
– Shepherding a Child’s Heart – Paul Tripp
– Raising Awesome Kids in Troubled Times – Sam & Geri Laing
– The Strong-Willed Child – Dr James Dobson
4. Sex in Your Marriage
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
- Sex is a special connection exclusively between wives and husbands.
- Do not deprive each other, except by mutual consent.
- Physical intimacy is also about giving and meeting the needs of your spouse, rather than simply meeting your own needs.
Q – What can you do to nurture more physical intimacy in your marriage? Q – Are there any apologies you need to make?
Recommended Reading:
– Love Life for every Married Couple – Ed Wheat
– His Needs, Her Needs – Willard F. Harley
– The Five Senses of Romantic Love – Sam Laing