(Purpose: To understand your role as a Christian Wife)
Genesis 2:24
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
- Marriage is a wonderful plan of God .The goals is to remain united as one, for life.
- Using the bible as the standard in marriage, we can attain and maintain our unity and love.
- Sin is what separates us from each other, We need to work at getting sin out of our marriages, especially bitterness, so that we can remain close and be best friends
- .Q. How would you want your marriage to be different?
Proverbs 31:10-31
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
- This is the Blue print for the wife of noble character
- V 10 Worth more than rubies
- V 11 Husband has full confidence in her.
- Q.Is there anything that you know your husband wouldn’t feel confident in? Spending, being reliable–letting your “yes” be “yes” etc?
- V12 She brings him good not harm. As women we have the power to either make our husbands happy or miserable, confident or insecure. Everyday focus on and point out the good in him.
- Take time to remember and write down all the reasons why you fell in love and married him.
- V12 She provides for her family
- V23 Husband is respected. Do your best to uphold him.
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
- In this verse the Bible calls wives to respect their husbands and husbands to love their wives. Does this mean that a husband shouldn’t respect his wife and a wife shouldn’t love her husband? Of course not.
- Q. So why do you think the Bible places the emphasis on these things? One possible answer is that it comes more naturally for men to respect than really express or show love and it comes more naturally for women to show or express love than respect. God is calling us to do what comes naturally but also focus on what does not.
- Q. In what ways can you show your husband respect? i.e. by not disagreeing with him in front of others or your children. The tone in which we say things is very important in communicating respect to someone, and especially to our husbands. Ask your husband if he feels respected by you?
Proverbs 21:9, 19
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife
Proverbs 21:19
Better to live in a desert, than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
- Q.Have you ever been around someone who nags a lot? How did it make you feel?
- Q. Why do you think the Bible addresses wives specifically in this verse?
- Q. Why do we nag?(trying to control, impatience, lack of respect, feeling unheard or unconsidered etc..)
- Q. What things do you nag your husband about?
- Nagging breaks intimacy and creates distance in our marriages..
Ephesians 5:21 – 25
Instructions for Christian Households
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
- The Bible calls us to submit to one another, but in these passages, it calls wives to submit to their husbands.
- Q. When you hear the word “submit”, what do you think of and how does it make you feel? Why?
- Culture has distorted the word submit, making it a bad word. Submission does not mean silence or to be a doormat. Submission does not mean wives are second class citizens, quite the opposite! In Genesis2:18 the Bible says that God would make a suitable “ezer” or helper suitable for Adam. It is the same word used66 times to describe God. It speaks of God’s strength, power, and protection, help, and being a rescuer. The Holy Spirit, is also described by Jesus as a “helper.”(John 14:16, 17)
- The Holy Spirit, co-equal with God, is our advocate, advisor, counsellor, intercessor, consoler, comforter, and helper. Jesus is equal to the Father but chose to submit to the Father and become our Saviour. The Holy Spirit is equal to the Father and to Jesus, yet the Holy Spirit is our Helper. The trinity exhibits no rivalry, competition, or inferiority but are co-equal and fully God, working together to accomplish God’s will and plan. Marriage between a man and a woman is to model that kind of love.
- God created both man and woman in His image. Men and women are equal, and in marriage, they take on different roles.
- As Christian’s, we first submit to God then to our husbands.
- Q. What would be some examples where it would be not be right to submit to your husband?
- Q. What areas do you need to submit and accept his leadership in?
1 Corinthians 7:1 – 7
Concerning Married Life
7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
- The Bible says that your body belongs to your husband and his body belongs to you.
- The only reason the bible gives for saying “no” is by mutual consent and prayer. That is radical!
- Q. Who has a great need for sexual intimacy in your marriage? (It is not always the men!)
- Q. Have you had a conversation about both your needs, expectations and desires?
- If this is an area where it is difficult to talk about maybe because of past hurts or unmet expectations. Get help. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Love making is a gift from God that builds connection. Satan wants to destroy it with fear and misunderstanding.
1 Peter 3:1-6
3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
- If your husband isn’t interested in becoming a Christian, how are you going to win him over?•Sit down and talk to your husband
- Explain what is happening i.e. You becoming a Christian
- Explain your commitment and ask for his support
- Ask him in what ways he thinks you can change to be a better wife
Conclusion:
- God plan for marriage is beautiful
- Sin is what destroys relationships and having clearly defined roles and responsibilities helps make marriages work in a fallen world.
- Make every effort to be the wife God created you to be and pray for your husband to be that for you.
- Seek lots of guidance and advice from older more experienced women (Titus2:4-8)
