I’ve had ADHD for as long as I can remember. It drives me crazy. I tend to switch between tasks, projects, and even careers. It also drives my wife crazy and is a constant battle. So how do I create a purpose-driven lifestyle in a world that offers an ocean of distractions?
In a story from the book of Luke, Jesus contrasts Mary and Martha’s mindset and behavior. Mary sits at his feet, soaking in every ounce of wisdom she can absorb. Meanwhile, Martha busies herself with preparations as a hostess. Jesus says to Martha, “You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” – Luke 10:41-42 (NIV)
It’s not a criticism of Martha’s desire to serve or get things done; it is a commentary on how distraction leads to anxiety, preventing us from focusing on what truly matters. In Martha’s case, it was only one thing – she was in the presence of the son of God and was not soaking it all in.
A few years ago, I decided to add to my daily quiet time with God a weekly Sabbath day and stop all work for a full day to rest. The concept seemed simple and attractive, but it became an anxious struggle. I found it incredibly challenging to avoid checking my phone, email, or “getting things done.”
Devoting just one day a week to pure joy and delight felt like torture and the opposite of pleasure. I was not fun to be around because I was frustrated with my inability to fully relax and delight in the Lord. At the core of this inability was connecting achievement and productivity to my sense of self-worth. Something needed to change.
Studies show that an average person checks their phone every 12 minutes. The invention of the smartphone put the world’s information at our fingertips and conditioned our brains for constant hyper-alertness, always wondering about what’s happening elsewhere. Tech companies profit immensely by designing technology that interrupts our lives, exploiting dopamine—a neurochemical that makes experiences feel meaningful and addictive.
I strive to excel as a husband, father, friend, and professional. I run a digital marketing company and coach professionals to excel in their careers. Beating the tyranny of distraction with ADHD in an environment that normalizes constant interruptions is not easy. It is also non-optional if I want to overcome obstacles well and flourish as a human being.
Here are some of the strategies I’ve adopted to focus on what truly matters for a fulfilling life:
- Develop a robust spiritual practice. Keep the one main thing the main thing. If your time in prayer and scripture feels more like a habit than a source of life energy, it’s time to reimagine it into something that overflows into all areas of life.
- Limit cheap dopamine sources. Use technology as a tool, not a master. Limit email checks to two to three times a day, and avoid using your phone before bed and first thing in the morning. Engage with TV for entertainment or learning, not escape.
- Learn to transform stress into creativity. Develop skills to turn stress into a state of flow where you are most creative, joyful, and impactful. It will help you to both excel in work and be fully present with loved ones.
- Nurture deep community. Even though you are part of a church, is your actual circle of friends both a safe place to make mistakes and a challenging place that calls you higher?
- Create a multi-dimensional, long-term vision for your life. It must include specific goals and steps to get there. Then, focus on the steps and process to get there without obsessing over the goals.
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The strategies described here have helped me experience delight, joy, and purpose daily. Even with ADHD and several projects going on at any given time, my marriage is flourishing, my friendships are solid, and I love my work. I have my bad days and unexpected setbacks, like everyone else, but I have the skills to navigate these inevitable realities.
The secret to a successful and purpose-driven life is available to us just like it was to Martha and Mary. Contrary to what we are used to thinking, belief in Jesus is not enough. Martha had the belief but was still worried about many things. Mary, on the other hand, had the belief and focused on the few most important things.
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Christian Ray Flores is an evangelist, entrepreneur, and coach. Join 19,000 others by subscribing to our weekly newsletter here.
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