This essay was written in response to a friend’s question about forgiveness and reconciliation: when someone says they have forgiven another person but the relationship remains unrestored, does God require reconciliation as well? It seeks to clarify the distinction between forgiving an offense and restoring a relationship, and to consider what Scripture teaches about our responsibility to pursue peace.
The essay retains the form of a personal letter because it is intended to encourage its recipient, not merely to present an argument. The aim is to bring clarity and encouragement while recognizing that forgiveness, reconciliation, and renewed trust are related but distinct.
My dear friend,
It’s been some time since you asked me to study what the Bible says about forgiveness and reconciliation, and how the two are related. At first glance, they seemed quite similar and closely connected. I thought that if I had forgiven someone, this implied that I had also reconciled with that person. Careful study helped me understand the difference between them and, more importantly, perceive God’s amazing heart and actions in providing forgiveness and reconciling everything to himself in Christ. It also helped me see clearly God’s expectations of us and his instructions concerning forgiveness, peaceful living, and reconciliation. I am sorry for the delay in sending this to you. I sincerely hope it will edify you, either by giving you a better understanding of God’s will in this regard or by reassuring you of what you already know.
You asked about relationships in which a person says that they have forgiven someone, but no steps are being taken to restore the relationship and the two sides do not seem to have reconciled. Does God require them to reconcile, or only to forgive? I think the whole study that follows, and its answer, can be summarized in the following story.
There was a wealthy man who had many children and owned a great deal of land. He loved his family and enjoyed spending time with them. However, when his children grew up, they all went to live abroad. The father missed them greatly, so he decided to build a seaside resort where each of them would have a place of their own while living close together. He announced the plan to his children, who liked it very much and agreed to return when the resort was finished. In the meantime, two of the sons became embroiled in a bitter conflict and no longer wanted to see each other. Their siblings tried to help and make peace between them, meeting separately with each brother. In those conversations, both brothers said that they had forgiven the other, but neither showed any intention of calling or meeting him. When the time comes for the siblings to return to their father and live close together, how will the father feel about this situation?
When we focus on God’s heart and on the future time when he will dwell with humankind, I trust that the answer to this question is clear. To substantiate it through biblical teaching, I will take you through the meanings of the Hebrew and Greek words translated into English as ‘forgive’ and ‘reconcile.’[1] We will then consider God’s heart and actions, and his commands to us concerning forgiveness, peace, and reconciliation. In his great love, God gave us the ultimate example to imitate, and it is his will that matters above all else.
Before we start, let me just mention that it is important to distinguish our responsibility to pursue peace from our ability to restore a relationship. The other person’s response is not our responsibility. There may be cases where the other person will not want to reconcile, or where it’s even unsafe to return into a relationship. Please have this in mind when considering how to apply what is taught here.
Forgiveness
To forgive means to stop blaming or being angry with someone for something that person has done, or to refrain from punishing them for it.[2] It can also mean ceasing to feel resentment towards an offender or granting relief from payment.[3] It carries an image of giving.[4]
In the Old Testament, the word ‘forgive’ mainly translates two Hebrew words,נָשָׂא (nasa) and סָלַח (salach).[5] The verbנָשָׂא (nasa)[6] occurs more than six hundred times in the Bible. Its literal meaning is ‘to lift’ or ‘to carry.’[7] In passages where it is translated as ‘forgive,’ it relates to transgression, sin, rebellion, iniquity, or wrongdoing.[8] A Hebrew reader therefore encounters an image of lifting sin from a person: taking away a person’s transgression as though it were a burden carried by the wrongdoer. The Scriptures tell us that God provided a way for the people’s sin to be lifted and removed from them.
According to Bible Hub’s Topical Lexicon, Israel’s sacrificial system demonstrates how the burden of guilt could be transferred. On the Day of Atonement, the scapegoat ‘will carry on itself all their sins to a solitary place’ (Leviticus 16:22), foreshadowing Isaiah 53, where the suffering servant ‘has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows’ (Isaiah 53:4) and ‘bore the sin of many’ (Isaiah 53:12). When Moses pleads, ‘But now, if you would only forgive their sin’ (Exodus 32:32), he is literally asking God to lift it from the nation. Forgiveness is not mere dismissal; it is active removal. David celebrates this same reality: ‘Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven.’[9] These passages tell us that God provided a way for the people’s sin to be lifted and removed from them.
The verb סָלַח (salach) means ‘to forgive’ or ‘to pardon’ and is the primary Old Testament verb for divine forgiveness. It speaks of the LORD’s gracious act of lifting guilt and restoring fellowship with his covenant people. In all 47 occurrences, God is the subject; Scripture never attributes סָלַח to human beings. The word therefore emphasises that pardon originates in the heart of God rather than in human initiative, ritual, or merit.[10]
In the New Testament, which was written in Greek, ‘forgive’ mainly translates the words ἀφίημι (aphiēmi) and χαρίζομαι (charizomai).
The verb ἀφίημι (aphiēmi) literally means ‘to send away’ or ‘to send forth’[11] and regularly conveys one of three closely related ideas: forgiving sin or debt; releasing or permitting a person or thing; and leaving or abandoning someone or something.[12] The noun ἄφεσις (aphesis) comes from aphiēmi and means release, as from bondage, or forgiveness. It denotes a sending away that results in release, remission, or pardon. In Scripture, it is always God-ward and sin-focused, describing either the removal of guilt or the liberation that follows pardon.[13]
The verb χαρίζομαι (charizomai)[14] comes from the noun χάρις (charis), meaning ‘grace’ or ‘favor.’ Charizomai means ‘to grant as a favor,’ ‘to give freely,’ or ‘to forgive.’ It depicts a voluntary, benevolent act that flows from favor rather than obligation. The term brings together the concepts of freely bestowing a gift, remitting a debt or penalty, and graciously granting a request. In every occurrence, the emphasis falls on the generosity of the giver rather than the worthiness of the recipient.[15]
The concepts expressed by these words, translated into English as ‘forgive,’ help us see forgiveness not merely as an abstract act of letting go, but also as lifting sin or guilt from a person and taking it away; as release from sin and guilt; and as an expression of favor and grace.
Reconciliation
Conciliation is the act of stopping someone from being angry. Reconciliation is the restoration of friendly relations: a renewal of friendship. In the Berean Standard Bible (BSB), several Greek words are translated as ‘reconcile,’ and nearly all are compounds that include the verb ἀλλάσσω (allassō), meaning ‘to change’ or ‘to exchange.’[16]
The verb διαλλάσσω (diallassō)[17] means ‘to change thoroughly’ or ‘to reconcile.’ According to the Topical Lexicon, this word appears only once in the Greek New Testament. Spoken by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, it is placed within an ethic that moves from outward compliance with the Law to inward righteousness of the heart. The imperative ‘be reconciled to your brother’ (Matthew 5:24) comes immediately after a warning that unresolved anger already incurs divine judgement. The setting is worship in the Temple: a believer has arrived with a sacrificial gift, yet God himself halts the ritual until human relationships are put right. Reconciliation is thus portrayed as a divine priority that must precede even sacrificial worship.[18] It is a wonderful concept that involves not only removing problems that damage a relationship, but also restoring a good and friendly relationship.
The verb καταλλάσσω (katallassō) means to change decisively,[19] as when two parties are reconciled by coming to the same position. It denotes bringing estranged parties into harmony. In Scripture, its principal focus is the restoration of sinners to God through the atoning work of Jesus Christ, with a secondary application to human relationships.[20]
The verb ἀποκαταλλάσσω (apokatallassō) means ‘to reconcile completely.’[21] It expresses a decisive and complete restoration of harmony between estranged parties. Unlike the broader καταλλάσσω, this intensive form stresses a total, once-for-all restoration to favour that leaves no residual hostility. In the New Testament, it is reserved for God’s work in Jesus Christ, underscoring that such reconciliation is neither partial nor merely potential; it is accomplished and objective.[22] Paul used apokatallassō when he described how Christ created in himself one new man out of the two—Jew and Gentile—thus making peace and reconciling both to God in one body through the cross, by which he put their hostility to death (Ephesians 2:14-18). In writing to the Colossians about the supremacy of Christ, Paul used this word when he said that God was pleased to reconcile all things to himself and that he had reconciled each believer through Christ’s sacrifice (Colossians 1:19-22).
Therefore, we see that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. Forgiveness is about releasing a debt, and concerns one’s heart toward the offender: to give up personal vengeance; to relinquish the right to repay evil with evil; to entrust justice to God (Romans 12:19). A believer can forgive even when the offender remains hostile. Reconciliation is the restoration of relationship. It involves bringing two estranged parties back into fellowship.
Some things are easier to forgive, while others may be quite difficult. The distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation does not minimize what happened. Forgiveness may involve a long and difficult process of bringing pain, anger, and the desire for vengeance honestly before God, sometimes with the help of wise and trustworthy support. It does not require denying the seriousness of the wrongdoing, excusing the offender, abandoning appropriate justice, removing necessary boundaries, restoring trust before it is warranted, or returning to an unsafe relationship. A person may sincerely move towards forgiveness while still grieving and healing. Reconciliation and renewed trust require repentance, change, and safety. Trust takes time to rebuild, and reconciliation may never occur. We are responsible for our own conduct and sincere efforts towards peace, not for the other person’s response.
Only one side is required for forgiveness, while reconciliation requires participation from both sides. Jesus asked the Father to forgive his accusers and executioners, even though they were not apologizing (Luke 23:34). Stephen also prayed for God not to hold his execution against his executioners, even though there had been no repentance (Acts 7:59-60). These examples show that forgiveness can originate entirely from the offended party, and that repentance of the offender is not a requirement for forgiveness. Reconciliation, however, requires changes in the relationship. God is forgiving yet not everyone is reconciled to God. Why is that? Because reconciliation requires a response.
Suppose someone steals £5,000 from you. Biblical forgiveness means refusing personal vengeance, praying for the wrongdoer, not nurturing hatred, genuinely desiring the wrongdoer’s repentance. Reconciliation would mean restored friendship, trust and fellowship. Forgiveness may be immediate. Trust may take time to build. And if the offender remains dangerous or unrepentant, reconciliation may never occur.
The following table may provide a helpful summary:
| Forgiveness | Reconciliation |
| Can be done by one person | Requires both parties |
| Concerns the heart | Concerns the relationship |
| Releases the debt | Restores fellowship |
| Required of Christians | Desired but not always possible |
| May occur immediately | Often takes time |
Forgiveness and reconciliation are related but not identical. Forgiveness concerns the moral debt created by wrongdoing. Reconciliation concerns the damaged relationship and requires the participation of both parties.
I hope these explanations of the Hebrew and Greek words have given you a broader view and a more vivid understanding of forgiveness and reconciliation. The following section is, I think, the most important part of this study to keep in mind: a consideration of God’s heart and what he has done.
God’s heart and actions
Let us consider the world God created. He made the heavens, the earth, the plants and animals, and then human beings in his image. When he looked upon all that he had made, it was very good. God planted a garden and placed Adam and Eve in it. They spoke with God face to face, and a relationship developed between them. However, humankind sinned and became alienated from him. With sin, death entered the world. As humanity multiplied, so did its wrongdoing. Since the punishment for sin is death, and no human being can live without sinning, all humankind seemed lost. Yet God loved the world so much that he provided a way for every person to be saved and to have eternal life. God wants everyone to be saved and to have eternal life. Therefore, while people were still God’s enemies and dead in their sins, he sent his son as a sacrifice to take away the sins of those who believe in him. He forgave all the trespasses of those who believe in his son, Jesus Christ. For our study, it is important to notice that God not only forgave their sins but also completely reconciled them to himself through Christ. This means that he restored them to a good relationship with him. (References: John 3:16; 6:35-40; 1 Timothy 2:3-4; Colossians 2:13-15; Romans 5:10-11; 2 Corinthians 5:18-20; Colossians 1:19-22.)
In his letter to Ephesian Christians, Paul addressed those who were of non-Jewish origin. I recommended you read the whole second chapter at this point to remind yourself of it. Paul said God forgave all the trespasses of those who believe in Christ, and that he also reconciled them to himself through Christ’s sacrifice, in order to present them holy, unblemished, and blameless in his presence. God wants to dwell with his people, and his desire will be fulfilled when he makes everything new. Then his dwelling place will be with them, and he will dwell among them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. (References: Exodus 29:45-46; Ezekiel 37:27; Zechariah 2:10; 2 Corinthians 6:16; Revelation 21:1-4.)
When we think about forgiveness and reconciliation—what they mean and how we should act—it is important to remember that God wants to dwell with his people. He has forgiven everything those who believe in Jesus Christ and reconciled them to himself; that is, he has made peace with them.
God is a God of peace. His son is called the Prince of Peace, and his kingdom is, among other things, a matter of peace. God Himself instructed Aaron to bless the people by asking him to give them peace. The Hebrew word shalom, translated as ‘peace,’ means not only peace but also well-being. God desires the well-being of his people. (References: Romans 15:33; 16:20; Philippians 4:9; 1 Thessalonians 5:23; Hebrews 13:20-21; Isaiah 9:6-7; Romans 14:17; Numbers 6:26.)
God provides peace and has enabled his people to dwell in peace. He made a covenant of peace with Levi. The gospel is the good news of peace that God proclaimed to people. Jesus and the apostles clearly wanted believers to abide in peace. (References: 1 Chronicles 22:9; 2 Chronicles 14:6; 20:30; Psalm 4:8; 29:11; Proverbs 16:7; Haggai 2:9; John 14:27; 16:33; Numbers 25:12; Malachi 2:4-6; Acts 10:36; Ephesians 2:17; Luke 24:36; 2 Thessalonians 3:16; 1 Peter 5:14; 3 John 1:14.)
We have already considered how God reconciled all things to himself by making peace through the blood of Jesus’ cross. Jesus ‘was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his stripes we are healed.’ Thus, those who have been justified through faith have peace with God through Jesus Christ. If God has made peace with all who belong to him, forgiving all their sins, how should they treat one another? (References: Colossians 1:20; Isaiah 53:5; Romans 5:1.)
Our heart and actions
Seeing God’s heart and what he has done for humankind helps us understand what he desires and what is pleasing to him. Jesus taught his disciples to be perfect as their heavenly Father is perfect. He said this while teaching them about God’s goodness and about loving their enemies. We are to imitate Christ in our thoughts and actions. He commanded us, ‘Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another.’ One way in which Jesus loved his disciples was by humbling himself as a servant and washing their feet, thereby giving us an example to follow. All this speaks of God’s love and of his desire that we become like him in character. (References: Matthew 5:48; 1 Corinthians 11:1; Philippians 2:5; 1 John 2:6; 13:34; 13:12-17.)
God has also called those who belong to him to live in peace. Jesus instructed people to be at peace with one another, and his apostles and disciples repeatedly gave believers the same instruction. Peace is a fruit of the Spirit, and peacemakers who sow in peace reap the fruit of righteousness. We are therefore to love one another and live in peace with each other. (References: 1 Corinthians 7:15; Mark 9:50; Romans 12:18; 14:19; 1 Corinthians 16:10-11; 2 Corinthians 13:11; Colossians 3:15; 1 Thessalonians 5:13; 2 Timothy 2:22; Titus 3:1-2; Hebrews 12:14; 1 Peter 3:11; Galatians 5:22; James 3:18.)
Forgive
With regard to forgiving others, I think the key example is found in Jesus’ response to Peter’s question about how many times he should forgive his brother.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy-seven times! Because of this, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlements, a debtor owing ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since the man was unable to pay, the master ordered that he be sold to pay his debt, along with his wife and children and everything he owned. Then the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Have patience with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ His master had compassion on him, forgave his debt, and released him. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ So his fellow servant fell down and begged him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you back.’ But he refused. Instead, he went and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay his debt. When his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and recounted all of this to their master. Then the master summoned him and said, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave all your debt because you begged me. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should repay all that he owed. That is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
Matthew 18:21-35
In the parable contained in Jesus’ response to Peter, the servant was so deeply in debt that he could never repay his master. When the servant begged for time to pay, the master went far beyond what he had asked: he forgave the entire debt. Yet when the servant encountered a fellow servant who owed him something, he showed him no mercy. On hearing what had happened, the master judged the servant wicked, reinstated his debt, and handed him over to be tortured until he repaid all that he owed. The parable teaches that God forgave believers a debt they could never repay themselves and expects them to be merciful like him. If they do not, God will hold them accountable for their debt. In effect, he will treat them as they treated others. Therefore, we are to forgive others as God has forgiven us. If we do not, God will not forgive our sins (Matthew 6:9,12,14-15).
Reconcile
Blessed are the peacemakers, because they will be called sons of God. – Matthew 5:9
Regarding reconciliation, consider the following teaching of Jesus:
You have heard that it was said to the ancients, ‘Do not murder’ and ‘Anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ will be subject to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be subject to the fire of hell. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Reconcile quickly with your adversary, while you are still on the way to court. Otherwise, he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.
Matthew 5:21-25
Using three examples, Jesus taught his disciples that hostility and expressions of contempt towards a brother deserve punishment. A person who is angry with a brother is liable to judgement, as is a person who treats a brother with contempt or insults him. Resolving such conflict is so important that Jesus instructed his disciples to settle the matter with a brother before coming to worship God. At that time, this could have meant travelling back to wherever the brother was—whether one mile or a hundred miles away. Our responsibility is to take sincere and appropriate steps towards peace, not to guarantee reconciliation or the other person’s response. If we know that a brother has something against us, or if we have something against a brother who is also God’s son, it is not right to ignore the matter and come to worship or serve God while it remains unresolved. That would be like a son wanting a good relationship with his father while treating with contempt a brother whom the father loves equally. How would the father feel, knowing that his sons were not at peace with each other? God wants us to go and make peace—to restore the relationship as far as it is within our power. The other person may need time to forgive, may be unwilling to forgive, or may act unrighteously. That person’s response is not our responsibility. It is, however, our responsibility to take whatever steps we can to live at peace with others, without abandoning necessary boundaries or returning to an unsafe relationship. This may be difficult, depending on what we did to that person or what that person did to us, but it is the right thing to do.
When King David made peace with Abner, Abner came to be on the same side as Joab, serving the same king. Yet Joab held a grudge against Abner because Abner had killed Joab’s brother in battle. Although he knew that David had made peace with Abner, Joab went and killed Abner during a time of peace. Did Joab act rightly? How did David perceive his actions, and how did he respond?
In the Law given to the Israelites, God instructed that anyone who sinned against a neighbour by unlawfully taking something from them had first to return what had been stolen or taken, add one-fifth of its value, and then bring a guilt offering to the priest. The priest would make atonement before God so that the person could be forgiven (Leviticus 6:1–7). God also described this sin against a neighbour as an act of unfaithfulness towards himself (Leviticus 6:1). Bible Hub’s Topical Lexicon notes that ‘the altar scene teaches that unreconciled relationships erect a barrier between the worshipper and God.’ The apostle John wrote, ‘Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen’ (1 John 4:20–21). John’s warning does not permit us to claim love for God while deliberately preserving hatred towards a brother or sister. If we refuse forgiveness or make no sincere effort towards peace, we should examine seriously whether our conduct is consistent with the love we profess. This is not the same as maintaining necessary boundaries, allowing time for healing and renewed trust, or recognizing that reconciliation is unsafe. Also, to note, an unrestored relationship does not, by itself, show that someone is deliberately preserving hatred or refusing to pursue peace.
The Didache, an early Christian writing dating from the first or second century AD, contains the following instruction: ‘But every Lord’s day gather yourselves together, and break bread, and give thanksgiving after having confessed your transgressions, that your sacrifice may be pure. But let no one that is at variance with his fellow come together with you, until they be reconciled, that your sacrifice may not be profaned.’[23] In place of ‘variance,’ Hoole’s translation uses ‘quarrel.’[24]
God made peace with both Jews and Gentiles who believe in Christ. When disputes arose in the early church between over whether Gentile believers were required to observe aspects of the Mosaic law, church leaders acted under God’s guidance to resolve the matter. Paul wrote that Christ is our peace and has reconciled both Jews and Gentiles to God in one body through the cross, by which he put their hostility to death (Ephesians 2). If God made peace with all of them, forgiving all their sins, is it right for any of them to hold a grudge against another? As far as it lies within their power, they should live at peace with those whom God has reconciled to himself.
Application
Here are some practical suggestions to consider and apply if you notice a need, but with safety in mind first.
- Is there a brother or sister whom you know has something against you? Is there someone whom you have hurt or insulted but have not yet approached to apologize and try to settle the matter? Go and do your part to reconcile with that person.
- Is there a brother or sister who has hurt you, but whom you have not yet told? Go and explain how you experienced the situation and what continues to cause you pain or temptation. They may not be aware of it. It is then their responsibility to respond appropriately, with humility and an apology if they have done something wrong.
- Is there a brother or sister who, when they come to mind, causes you to feel anger, dissatisfaction, or contempt? What issue is causing that reaction? Go and speak with them. If the matter is resolved, it will benefit you and possibly them as well.
- In a church meeting, is there someone you want to avoid? If there is, and the reason is hurt, disagreement or conflict, go and talk to the person, making every effort to restore unity.
Conclusion
Dear friend, I hope this study has helped you with your question about forgiveness and reconciliation. I also hope that Scripture has made clear to you that God wants us to forgive others, just as he has forgiven us completely, and that he wants us to live at peace with others and to do our part to be reconciled with them. We have an amazing, magnificent, and wonderful God, who is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in loving devotion and faithfulness, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin (Exodus 34:5-7). It amazes me that the wonderful Aaronic blessing, which asks God to bless His people and grant them well-being, was given at God’s own instruction (Numbers 6:22-27). This clearly shows that God has good purposes for his people. He wants to dwell with us. When that time comes, we will dwell with him, and he will dwell with us. Deliberately preserving hostility towards one another does not fit the biblical description of life in God’s presence. Yet an unrestored relationship is not necessarily evidence of such hostility: a person may sincerely forgive and pursue peace while reconciliation remains impossible or unsafe.
Jesus commanded us to love our enemies so that we may be like our Father in heaven. If we are to love our enemies, surely we are also to love fellow Christians who confess the same faith, worship the same God, and are fellow citizens and members of God’s household (Ephesians 2:19).
God wants believers to be one (John 17:20-26). In every generation, he continues to reconcile people to himself in Christ by forgiving their trespasses. This initiative comes from God, through his prophets and followers, who call people to be reconciled to him. It naturally follows that we should accept those whom God has accepted and live at peace with those with whom God has made peace.
I would like to finish by recalling Peter’s and Paul’s appeals for love, unity, and peace. Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Therefore if you have any encouragement in Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being united in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:1-4
As a prisoner in the Lord, then, I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling you have received: with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, and with diligence to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Ephesians 4:1-6
Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, or free, but Christ is all and is in all. Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called as members of one body. And be thankful.
Colossians 3:11-15
Therefore, beloved, as you anticipate these things, make every effort to be found at peace—spotless and blameless in his sight.
2 Peter 3:14
About the author: Tomislav is a member of the London ICOC and part of the Southside region’s teaching group.
[1] The Berean Standard Bible has only one occurrence of the word ‘reconcile’ in the Old Testament. This does not mean that reconciliation is not spoken about in the Old Testament times. It is represented in other words or phrases.
[2] https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/forgive
[3] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/forgive
[4] The word forgive comes from the Old English forgiefan, meaning ‘to give, grant, or pardon’, which is formed from for– (‘completely’) and giefan (‘to give’). https://www.etymonline.com/word/forgive
[5] The exceptions are one occurrence of the word כָּפַר (kaphar), which means to cover, or to atone, and one occurrence of the word שָׁמַט (shamat), which means to release, denoting an intentional letting go.
[6] Strong’s Hebrew: 5375. נָשָׂא (nasa or nasah) — lifted, lift, bear
[7] Abraham “lifted up his eyes.” The waters “lifted the ark.” Esau “lifted up his voice and wept.” Jacob “lifted his feet and he went to the land.” Jacob told Joseph to “carry” him out of Egypt when he dies. The wind “lifted up the locust and blew it into the Red Sea.”
[8] As in, “I beg you, please forgive the transgression and sin of your brothers,” “please forgive my sin,” and “please forgive your servant’s offense.”
[9] Strong’s Hebrew: 5375. נָשָׂא (nasa or nasah) — lifted, lift, bear
[10] Strong’s Hebrew: 5545. סָלַח (salach) — To forgive, pardon
[11] It is composed of apo, ‘away from’, and hiēmi, ‘to send.’
[12] Strong’s Greek: 863. ἀφίημι (aphiémi) — To send away, to leave, to forgive, to permit, to abandon
[13] Strong’s Greek: 859. ἄφεσις (aphesis) — Forgiveness, release, remission
[14] Strong’s Greek: 5483. χαρίζομαι (charizomai) — To grant, to give freely, to forgive, to show favour
[15] Strong’s Greek: 5485. χάρις (charis) — Grace, favour, kindness, blessing
[16] Strong’s Greek: 236. ἀλλάσσω (allassó) — To change, exchange, transform
[17] Allassō comes from the adjective ἄλλος (allos), meaning ‘other’ or ‘another’. Together with the preposition διά (dia), meaning ‘through’, it forms the verb διαλλάσσω (diallassō). Strong’s Greek: 243. ἄλλος (allos) — other, another
[18] Strong’s Greek: 1259. διαλλάσσω (diallassó) — To reconcile, to change thoroughly
[19] It includes kata, ‘down to an exact point’, which intensifies allassō, ‘to change.’
[20] Strong’s Greek: 2644. καταλλάσσω (katallassó) — Reconcile, restore to favour
[21] ἀπό (apo) means ‘off’, ‘from’, or ‘away from.’
[22] Strong’s Greek: 604. ἀποκαταλλάσσω (apokatallassó) — To reconcile completely, to restore to favour
[23] Didache 14.1-2. https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/0714.htm
[24] https://www.earlychristianwritings.com/text/didache-hoole.html
