Editor’s note: As our movement ages, this article has timeless relevance. First published on Disciples Today in 2005.

Years ago I made a vow to God to never become a grumpy old Christian. Seeing the young faces and hearts at the International Campus and Teen Leaders Seminar moved me to renew that vow.

We were married just before our senior year of college in 1968 – the year Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy were assassinated. Campuses around the US were full of disillusioned students protesting, burning flags and occupying administration buildings. There was even a demonstration at our little Harding College. Vietnam, the sexual revolution and the Age of Aquarius were stretching the previous generation’s values in every direction.

After college we spent four years as untrained youth ministers to 200 teens in a very wealthy area of Houston, Texas. By 1976 we had two children and I was preaching for a church of about 120 in Charleston, Illinois, a town of 10,000 population and a campus of 10,000 students. Not exactly the center of the universe. I had been convinced by many that “secular schools” were just hotbeds of heathens that we should shield our children from.

But it was obvious these students on this secular campus were looking for purpose in their life and many were open to looking for God. After baptizing several students, I watched many of them graduate but not continue with the Lord.

Realizing I needed help, I looked high and low for a campus minister. There were hardly any candidates to be found. Then God led us to a young, deeply committed, seriously intense disciple named Kip McKean. That fall we experienced a radical spiritual renewal in our church led by the campus ministry. At first we were amazed at dozens of student baptisms, then we were convicted by the incredible changes in their lives. I soon saw that I had only three options: run this guy out of town, leave myself or live the life of a true disciple. One Sunday I scrapped my sermon to publicly recommit my life to Jesus as Lord and to repent of my own lukewarmness. Then I called the church to recommit their lives also. Eighty percent of the church responded including our elders and most of our deacons. God blessed us and hundreds of campus, teens, singles and marrieds became Christians over the next few years. (See I Wanna Hear Him Say Well Done by Steve Johnson.)

But what of those who didn’t respond to the call to repentance? Naively, it shocked me that anyone who would go to church regularly would not want to have their life and doctrine consistent. I learned a lot more about the Scriptures and the way people responded to Jesus and the early Christians when I saw people become more and more critical, cynical and grumpy. There are too many reasons to go into here. I am sure we could have handled many situations with more wisdom. I had gray hair, three kids but I was only 30. Our godly elders Wayne Geiling and Bill Rush were the stabilizers who encouraged Kip and myself to keep our focus on Jesus, to love the opposition and to not compromise the Scriptures. We tried to be patient and involve everyone. But some of the members just were not moved that so many people were leaving darkness and embracing the light. To me, many of them became grumpy old Christians. One of them even went to the local newspaper and induced them to write a series of articles on our church being a cult. He had donated a lot of money and resented his lack of influence in the congregation.

Then I started to notice a pattern. There were many ministries springing up on the major campuses of the Midwest. All of them began as a part of an established church. In almost every case, these young campus ministers were opposed by grumpy old Christians who often feared the implications of the newly committed but immature lives or feared the reactions of other members. Some just feared change. The grumpy element wanted to set the agenda for the church and grew even grumpier whenever they didn’t get their way.

Many good-hearted Christians felt that loving these people meant to appease them – which only gave the power struggle over to the negative folks. This was truly pouring new wine into old wineskins. Often the wineskin (the congregation) split and the new wine (the young Christians) wound up disillusioned or with damaged faith in the process.

As we saw hundreds, then thousands of lives come to Christ, it dawned on me: one day I was going to be the age of these older Christians. I didn’t really understand all the forces that created the cynicism and faithlessness that I saw, but I knew it was not what I read of God’s people in the Bible. And the critical people weren’t the ones who were changing the world. I made a vow to God. I would never become a grumpy old Christian.

As we know, making a vow to God is serious business.

“When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, “My vow was a mistake.” Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.” – Ecclesiastes 5:4-7

I spent last weekend at the International Campus and Teen Leaders Seminar in San Antonio, Texas. Seeing the young faces and the pure hearts of these disciples who have been through the fire and the storm of our fellowship the last few years was incredibly encouraging. The next generation leaders who love God, love the Bible, love each other and love the lost. They know our teen and campus ministries are weak and in need of revival.

They respect the past, but they want help to create a future. I don’t think many of them fully understand the trauma our churches have experienced, but their faith is obviously in God, not the structure or personalities of the church. The Holy Spirit in them refreshed my spirit. I’m used to being considered the old guy in a crowd. Since our fellowship was so young and I was gray at 30, I have always been the old guy. But as I look around our conferences and worship services, I am seeing a lot more company in the gray hair club. As the circle of life flows, the young radicals are now the graying establishment. The key is: Will we retain our passion for God, for each other and for the lost that we had when we had more energy, fewer aches and pains and much less responsibility?

When I made that vow at 30 to not become a grumpy old Christian, I had yet to experience these things as I view them:

  • close friends betraying me
  • intense persecution from the world for Jesus’ sake
  • disappointment and disillusionment from others’ sin, my own unrealized dreams and life circumstances
  • serious damage to others from my own sin
  • a child and a wife stricken with cancers bearing incredibly low cure rates
  • my heroes in the faith being disunified – and grumpy
  • our family of churches turning into a corporation of churches, relationships changed into a sales force
  • brothers and sisters in the Lord turning their back on God, including some in my own family
  • seeing long-time disciples suddenly disconnect their behavior from their previous convictions, publicly unleashing their tongues destroying the faith of many.
  • disciples falling to the modern culture of accusation and license
  • seeing our commitment and sacrifice for missions and the poor be attacked and accused as something evil
  • after 38 years of ministry having to persuade some people why we should receive support

The hearts of those young disciples in San Antonio moved me to renew my vow. But it means more now. I am trying to be far less self-righteous towards those who grow critical, cynical and grumpy. I understand how they get there. Over the years as the devil wounded me and as I often joined in with my own sin, I felt my heart developing hard callouses of protection that kept God and other people from getting as close as they used to be. I didn’t get excited about people searching for God. I didn’t have time to study the Bible with people. Sharing my faith was a bore or a job instead of a thrilling opportunity to see God work. I shifted from what I could do for God to what the church could do for me. The more my heart hardened, the more I saw other people as the problem, the less I saw myself in the mirror of God’s Word and the less I sought discipling. I was becoming the grumpy old Christian. Thank God for a godly wife and friends. It hit me – this is how marriages, families and churches grow cold. It is scary to see how my heart can harden to God sometimes gradually and sometimes quickly.

Have you ever been tempted to think, “Well Jesus just had to put up with this for three years! I’m stuck here with all this for a good 30 to 60 years.” Maybe that’s why Paul’s life is so well documented for us. In 2 Corinthians he shares his disillusionment track. I have often wondered how I would do as a disciple with prison, flogging, beating, stoning, shipwreck, danger from rivers, bandits, city, countrymen and false brothers. I have been constantly “on the move” and often gone without sleep, but every time I start patting myself on the back, I realize I haven’t ever really been hungry, thirsty, gone without food, been cold or naked.

And I have yet to be lowered in a basket to escape my assassins. This is the same guy who wrote from prison at the end of his life that the Christians in Philippi should not feel sorry for him, but rejoice that prison gave him a new mission field. How did he do that? Romans 8 gives a deep insight. Instead of returning to his own sinful spirit, Paul continued to let the Holy Spirit rule in his heart, no matter what life threw at him. Can we even imagine the Holy Spirit being grumpy?

Those of us who have been disciples for a while have a decision to make. Our churches need to get our zeal back with a more mature understanding. Our young people need to see some radical, biblical faith and zeal. Are we going to be the grumpy old Christian that the campus minister has to explain to the young, zealous disciple who is trying to reconcile his newfound faith with our grumpiness? Or are we going to be the old, zealous disciple with faith refined by fire and wisdom matured from a life full of choices to rejoice in the Lord always? Which one do you think gives that young disciple hope for his future and hope for the world to be saved?

How about repeating a vow with me, no matter what age you are? “I will never become a grumpy old Christian.”

Amen. The Lord heard that.

Roger Lamb is the founder and former CEO of Disciples Today.